Relationship Minefield! How to Gracefully Handle When Your Partner Asks If You Think Their Friend Is Attractive


Ah, the dreaded question! Whether due to a knack for blundering into awkward conversations or out of curiosity, we’ve all been asked if we find our partner’s friends attractive at one point or another.

On its own, the question can seem innocent enough; but in context with your committed relationship, it may feel like you are treading on shaky ground.

If you find yourself fielding this difficult inquiry and your mind immediately starts racing to figure out how to respond, without angering your significant other, take a deep breath and keep reading.

In this article, I will provide some key advice on how best navigate such a conversation while maintaining healthy boundaries within the confines pertinent to each relationship dynamic.

#1. I Can’t Tell if She’s Sweating or Not

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This is a great joke reply to the question in order to take the edge off.

Since you were asked is she is hot, you respond with something along the lines of body temperature/fever.

#2. Oh That’s What We’re Going to Do Today? We’re Going to Fight

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Most times this question comes from an insecure place and no matter what your response is, it will get twisted and turn into a fight.

So you can take it one step further and just get to the fight.

Of course, if your relationship is at this level, it might be time to move on anyway.

#3. Ma’am, I Have a Girlfriend

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This is a response that’s sure to get a chuckle out of her. 

It’s funny because you’re immediately brushing off the question while stating that you’re already committed to her and not looking at anyone else.

Better yet, this is a highly unlikely response to start a fight, even if you are avoiding the question by responding with something funny. 

Humor always prevails. 

#4. I Never Thought About Her That Way

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Many men are worried that when their girlfriends ask whether or not someone close to them is attractive, it’s a loaded question that issues will accompany. 

As a result, going the route of being “safe” is often considered the best method. 

This response assures your girlfriend that you’re not thinking about her friends that way and are more focused on your relationship. 

Of course, this response (and similar responses on this list) are only necessary if you’re worried that she will be sensitive about your answer or if you think that it’s a question that might lead to a fight later on. 

#5. She’s Not My Type

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“She’s not my type” is another safe response. 

Sometimes, someone might not be asking a question about how attractive their friends are to get an opinion but to test the waters and see if being with one of their friends is something you ever considered. 

By not responding and deflecting by stating that their friend is not your type, you show that you’ve never really taken the time to consider whether or not they’re attractive and explore it any further. 

Remember that this isn’t directly answering the question they asked, which could be a problem. 

#6. She’s Attractive, But I’m Not Attracted to Her

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Now, let’s imagine that you feel perfectly safe answering the question of whether or not your girlfriend’s friend is attractive. 

But you’re also looking to ensure you don’t give them the wrong idea or make them feel insecure. 

One great answer is to state that their friend is attractive, but you’re not attracted to her. 

This assures her that, conventionally, her friend is pretty. 

However, even though she’s pretty, she’s not someone that you’d ever really think about any further. 

This is a reasonably safe answer, regardless of why she asks the question. 

#7. She’s Pretty, But I Only Have Eyes for You

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With the above in mind, we can take it one step further. 

Maybe you don’t want to say that their friend is attractive but that you’re only attracted to your girlfriend. 

After all, this could be interpreted as you anticipate that they will say something about whether you would date or get with them. 

Instead, say, “She’s pretty, but I only have eyes for you.”

This adorable response validates what your friend likely wants to hear while also complimenting them and making sure they know that any other woman, including friends, does not threaten your relationship. 

#8. Yes Or, Alternatively, No

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Up to this point, we’ve mainly focused on responses strategically. 

But it’s worth mentioning that not everyone needs to employ a strategy. 

If you’re in a healthy relationship with a woman who’s very secure in who she is and is not worried that you will cheat on her with another woman (let alone her friend), there’s no reason to be diplomatic. 

If her friend is attractive, state that she is attractive. 

If her friend is unattractive, say that she isn’t. 

Sometimes, it’s as simple as that!

#9. I Don’t Know Her Well Enough

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This is a great response that has a few layers to it. 

On its face, you’re not acknowledging the question and avoiding having to dig into it and come up with a response.

But more than that, you’re refusing to acknowledge anything about beauty itself. 

It’s an excellent redirect that tells your girlfriend that you base your interpretation on looks, not only on what someone looks like on the outside, but what their personality is like and how they act. 

This indicates that they picked the right person and that you find them beautiful inside and out. 

#10. Her? You Should See My Girlfriend!

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Funny responses are the go-to for quite a few men. 

In many cases, they may often be the correct response. 

This response is great because it jokingly redirects the conversation back to the focus you have on your girlfriend. 

It also makes her laugh and helps you dodge the question entirely, which can be helpful if you believe it’s coming from a place of insecurity or know that your girlfriend is having a tough time. 

When you want to keep things lighthearted, a joke never fails.

#11. I Don’t Know, What Do You Think

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Sometimes, it can be hard to determine why your girlfriend is asking you a specific question. 

This is why feeling it out further with the proper response can be a great way to move forward. 

Redirect the conversation by asking your girlfriend what she thinks. 

She will come up with a response based on her own logic and thinking that will inform you how to respond. 

#12. Yes (or No), Why Do You Ask

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Some men don’t want to skirt the issue, like in the above response.

In this case, answer the question and ask her why she’s curious. 

Maybe she wanted to see whether or not you could find her a date or explain why she’s having trouble dating. 

Maybe she wants to know because she’s interested in other people’s opinions. 

You’ll never know why she’s asking until you ask. 

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