Networking For Introverts | Your Complete Guide

Networking For Introverts

I am not a fan of networking.

This is mostly because I am in introvert.

Over the years in the professional world, I’ve had to do my fair share of networking, even if I didn’t want to.

The reason I networked is simple.

To progress in the professional world, it is more about who you know than what you know.

This isn’t dismissing what you know, but you have a much great chance at landing a job if you have someone on the inside pulling for you.

In any case, networking for introverts is tough to do.

We are naturally shy, quiet people that can get very awkward in social situations.

And awkwardness when meeting new contacts and colleagues can be a problem.

Because of this, I created this guide, networking for introverts.

It will help you, the introvert, overcome most pitfalls when networking and help you overcome your fear of networking.

By the end, you will have actionable tips and strategies for making networking less of a chore.

The Complete Guide To Networking For Introverts

Networking Tips And Tricks

If you try to find out how to network as an introvert, you will get a lot of tips that don’t apply.

Most of the tips I have found are meant for people just starting out their career and ignore the many things that make shy people unique.

So I compiled 7 networking tips and strategies to make it less painful.

#1. Know Yourself

Know Yourself

The first thing you need to do is homework about yourself.

You need to understand who you are as a person.

What types of events do you feel most comfortable? When do you feel most comfortable around others?

By taking the time to understand who you are and what your strengths are, you can take much of the fear and anguish out of networking.

Personally, I hate going up to people I don’t know and striking up a conversation.

I just can’t do it.

So I had my former boss take me under his wing.

I would shadow him and he would make the introduction and start off the conversation.

When he would leave to work the room, I had something to continue the conversation with.

Also for me, I am not good at a networking event that just has people standing around talking.

I need an outlet for my nervous energy.

I found a few networking events where the emphasis was on doing an activity.

This is perfect for me as I am able to focus more on the activity and let the networking part be the side act.

Don’t take this as I ignore the networking aspect.

It’s just that I am better able to talk to others when I have an outlet for my nervous energy.

#2. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

Once you know yourself, you need to pick a networking event.

When you pick your event, be sure to do as much research as you can.

What type of event will it be? Who will be the majority of people there?

This is your chance to come up with some ideas or questions you want to ask others.

I found the more work I did before the event, the smoother the night went.

In most cases, the event itself will have an online presence.

If it doesn’t, reach out to the organizer to get more information.

If you can get hold of the attendee list, scan through it and look up people on LinkedIn.

The trick here is to find people that have a common connection with you.

This allows you to have something to talk about at the networking event.

For example, if they work at a company where your friend works, this can be a conversation starter.

#3. Take Breaks

Take A Break

Networking as a shy person can quickly become overwhelming.

I know enough about myself to know when I need to take a break.

There have been many times when I will run to the restroom even if I don’t have to go to the bathroom or will go outside for fresh air.

These breaks allow my mind to reset itself and for me to get my emotions back in check.

Sometimes I even use this time to take notes.

I am not great at remembering names, so I will write notes down on the business card they gave me.

Usually it is what we talked about or how I might be able to help them out.

I come back to the event after a few minutes feeling refreshed and ready to go.

I even take breaks at large family gatherings.

There are times when I just need to get away for a few minutes and recharge.

Extroverts might not understand this, but it is because as introverts, we are taking a lot of information in.

So while an introverts weakness is making easy conversation, one of our strengths is taking in a lot of information.

#4. Stop Judging

Because networking for introverts is difficult, we tend to judge ourselves harshly on what we say and do.

You need to stop this.

It only adds pressure to the situation and makes things worse.

I’ve been guilty of this many times.

I’ll be talking to someone and pronounce a word wrong and will internalize it and focus all of my attention and energy on it.

I block out what the other person is saying.

When I come back into the conversation, I lost my train of thought and have nothing more to say.

Realize that we are all human and make mistakes. No one will stop talking to you if you mispronounce a word or do something weird.

Many times, you are the only one that notices.

Next time you do something that you think everyone saw, stop for a minute and look around.

Chances are almost everyone is focused on something other than you, meaning no one saw it.

#5. Focus

As introverts, we are always processing information about our environment.

This is why it is so hard to focus on one thing at times.

When it comes to networking, you need to learn how to focus on the person you are talking to.

Giving that person your undivided attention says a lot about you as a person and goes a long way.

I know that when I have someone’s undivided attention, I feel better about myself.

When I am out networking, I use a subtle trick to keep me focused on the person I am talking to.

Many times, there will be something off to the side that is trying to get my attention.

All I do is shift my body to block out that thing and I am better able to focus.

#6. Have An Exit Strategy

Exit Strategy

Give yourself permission to leave the networking event when you have had enough.

For extroverts, it’s easy to stay out all night talking and making new contacts.

With introverts, this is not the case.

There comes a point in time when we have had enough and we need to leave.

Staying past this point is oftentimes pointless as you won’t be focused or interested.

Tell yourself that it is OK to leave the event when you have had enough.

But don’t allow yourself to leave right after showing up.

Make it a point to interact with a handful of people before leaving.

As you attend more events and become more comfortable, you can interact with more and more people.

#7. Use Social Media And Email

I can’t stress this one enough.

As introverts, our weakness is talking with others. But our strength is being thoughtful and caring.

Networking using social media and email is a no-brainer for introverts.

This isn’t to say that you can skip the networking events altogether, but to follow up with the people you met electronically.

It is much easier to continue the new relationship through LinkedIn and email than it is to go out and meet the person again.

Even though I said above that email and social media cannot replace networking for introverts, you can still use it to network.

In my last job, we were trying to reach out to accountants and attorneys to build up referrals.

I was able to find a handful of local accountants and attorneys through LinkedIn and contact them with an introduction via email.

I landed a huge number of networking meetings for my boss this way.

I was able to take my time and compose thoughtful emails to these professionals and they responded positively to me.

How To Network As A Shy Person

Guide To Networking For Shy People

Here is a quick example of my networking strategy as a shy person at a networking event.

First, I do as much research as I can before the event.

As I mentioned earlier, I want to know who is coming to this event, and how many people.

There is nothing worse than going into a room full of 200 people when you were expecting 50.

Next, I make sure I show up early. In fact, I try to be one of the first people there.

By doing this, I ensure I can easily start a conversion with someone.

In the past, when I show up late, people are talking and making connections.

I don’t feel right interrupting their conversation and introducing myself.

When I am one of the first ones there, I can talk to the next person.

And chances are, the next person that comes will join our group.

This process snowballs for a bit and I end up quickly meeting 5-10 people with very little work.

This is when I usually take my first break.

I’ll head to the restroom just to take a few deep breaths.

Then I will find an area where I can write down some notes.

I do this in the middle or near the middle of the room. I don’t hide in a corner.

The notes I take are about conversations I had.

This helps me when I follow up with the people I met on LinkedIn or via email.

Next, I will get something to eat or drink.

This is where I take advantage of the situation to strike up a conversation with someone nearby.

By focusing on the food or drinks, my nervous energy has an outlet.

As the night continues, I regularly take breaks to recharge.

When I am emotionally drained, I call it a night and head home.

Final Thoughts

Networking for introverts can be very scary.

Trust me, I’ve been frightened to go to networking events so much that I turned around on the way to the event.

But when I sat down and took the time to better understand myself and create a strategy for networking, it became much easier to handle.

I am still nowhere near a pro when it comes to networking.

But, if you are shy and are fearful of networking events, then following the tips I presented will make social situations and networking easier.

Just keep with it and develop a plan that works for and you will say goodbye to a lot of the anxiety you feel.

4 thoughts on “Networking For Introverts | Your Complete Guide”

  1. I’m an introvert too. Social gatherings are painful for me. I once hurt a good friend by leaving her dinner party because I literally could not stay in the room another moment. These are fabulous tips, Don. Taking breaks is really good, and my favorite is having an exit strategy. Next week there is a social event I’ve been dreading to attend, but now I’m kind of looking forward to seeing how it goes armed with your tips! Thanks.

      1. Your tips worked great, Don! I took two short “breaks” to go outside alone for a few moments. These days with cell phones everywhere, it didn’t seem strange that I stepped out. People just assumed I was checking in on my kids.
        I also had a planned exit strategy. Just knowing I was not going to stay too long made it so much less stressful that I actually enjoyed the party! Usually a party is something I endure, not enjoy.
        Thanks again for your post with these great tips. It’s tough living in an extroverted society!

        1. Woo Hoo!! So glad they helped you! You’re right about everything you said, especially about living in an extroverted society!

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