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Marrying the love of your life is the best feeling in the world, but when you marry them you also marry their family.
Many people know the struggles of having an over-involved sister in law that always thinks she knows best.
This article will run you through some of the best tips for dealing with a two faced sister in law without it coming to conflict.
The most important takeaway from this piece is to always remain calm and positive, as these qualities will see you through most difficult situations.
9 Ways To Deal With A Two Faced Sister In Law
#1. Always Be Nice
No matter who is around, try and be nice.
Be positive and calm, and ensure you treat your sister in law with respect.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and being pleasant will always get you further than being negative or confrontational.
If your sister in law has an issue with you, it will be much harder to take digs if you are always kind to her.
#2. Try To Understand Where The Attitude Is Coming From
Be compassionate towards your sister in law.
She may be jealous of you and your partner’s relationship, and lashing out because she feels inadequate.
There are many reasons why people get an attitude, but it usually stems back to some feelings of personal dissatisfaction.
Ask her why she is behaving in this way.
Is there something that you could help with? Is she jealous of how well you handle the demands of kids while she struggles?
A kind word and a helping hand can go a long way. People often lash out when they’re overwhelmed, and she may just not know how to ask for help.
#3. Don’t Try And Explain Yourself To Them
If this is a consistent issue and your two faced sister in law criticizes your every move, it is futile to argue back.
A much more worthwhile use of your time is to remind yourself of your self-worth.
Remain confident in your decisions and remember that you do not need to justify them to anyone else.
#4. Try To Ignore It
If your sister in law hurls insults left, right, and center, she is likely just looking to annoy you.
In such cases, the best course of action is to simply ignore her remarks.
If she does not get the rise she is looking for, eventually she will become bored with her behavioral patterns and hopefully cease to be two faced.
#5. Talk To Your Partner
Your sister in law is your partner’s sister and so they will know her better than you do.
Talk to your partner about what their sister is saying and doing to you, and how it is making you feel.
If she is really two faced then your partner will likely not know what their sister’s behavior is like.
Explain the situation calmly and logically to your partner, and try to come up with a solution to work through the issues.
This may be your partner having a private word with their sister, or it may be a case of limiting contact with them.
Whatever the outcome, it is important to make this a joint decision with your partner so that you can work through the problem together.
When dealing with family issues, it is vitally important that you and your partner are singing from the same hymn sheet.
There are many emotions involved with situations like this, and it is important to be united so that you can minimize the hurt sustained.
#6. Sit Down For An Adult Conversation
It is important to calmly discuss issues as they arise to prevent serious problems from forming.
Try and organize an adult discussion about the issues you have with your sister in law’s behavior.
It is a good idea to have someone else there to act as a mediator, say a friend, or your partners.
#7. Set Boundaries
If she is constantly critiquing your behavior or thoughts, limit the contact with her.
Unfriend her on social media, or simply hide her posts from your timeline. There is no reason to subject yourself to unnecessary mental anguish.
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Operate a zero tolerance policy for her behavior.
Once you have explained clearly and calmly why you don’t like something, do not allow her to say it again.
If she does, remove yourself from the situation or shut her comments down instantly. Do not argue with her, just move on.
#8. Focus On The Solution, Not The Problem
There is no pleasure in constantly mulling over problems in your mind.
Once you have established that there is an issue and have begun working towards a solution, make this your primary focus.
Your life will be much happier if you only focus on the positive aspects.
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An action plan to get to an ideal solution will really help you with this.
By focusing on the solution, you are putting positive and constructive energy out into the universe.
This is a form of manifestation and people believe this will help your dreams to become reality.
#9. Don’t Look For Their Approval
There is little point in seeking out their approval if they have a track record for being mean or condescending.
Find confidence in yourself and work to make your own sense of achievement validation enough.
You do not need the approval of someone who constantly puts you down.
If you remain positive and continue to work on yourself, you will always succeed eventually.
If your sister in law is a narcissist then she is unlikely to ever commend you on your achievements and you will be waiting a long time for her approval.
Having a two faced sister in law, or any negative in law is not fun.
By using the 9 steps outlined, you can take a positive approach to fixing the issue.
While there are many other methods that could help you defuse any tricky situations, they may not be the best at keeping the peace over the long term.
I encourage you to try everything to make everyone happy before you decide to cut out the person from your lives.
In many cases, the situation can be fixed before it gets to this point. However in some cases, this is the only option.
Jon Dulin is the passionate leader of Unfinished Success, a personal development website that inspires people to take control of their own lives and reach their full potential. His commitment to helping others achieve greatness shines through in everything he does. He’s an unstoppable force with lots of wisdom, creativity, and enthusiasm – all focused on helping others build a better future. Jon enjoys writing articles about productivity, goal setting, self-development, and mindset. He also uses quotes and affirmations to help motivate and inspire himself. You can learn more about him on his About page.