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It is always difficult to handle a situation where someone is putting you down, especially when it is in front of others.
It can cause you to feel uncomfortable or awkward and can lead to self esteem issues.
While it may feel impossible to move past their comments in the moment, this article will teach you some ways to reshape your thought process and overcome anything people throw at you.
9 Ways To Handle When Someone Puts You Down In Front Of Others
#1. Try And Work Out Why They Are Acting Like This
Is it a personal issue?
Many people will lash out when they feel personally inadequate, as a way to make them seem superior to others.
Jealousy and low self-esteem are main reasons for this type of behavior.
Some people will portray others as a joke to make themselves appear more funny when in reality it just comes across as a cheap shot.
This may be a desperate grasp for attention, as they feel their personality is not strong enough to be liked otherwise.
A darker reason for people to put you down is as part of a larger manipulation strategy.
By consistently degrading your self-worth, manipulation becomes easier.
This is why it is so vital to stand up to bullies and remember your own importance.
If you allow yourself to be affected by people’s remarks, you are setting yourself up to be hurt.
#2. Logically Reason Around It
Focus on your positivity and not their negativity.
As mentioned above, there are so many reasons why someone could be putting you down.
It is highly likely that jealousy plays into this somehow.
In a strange, roundabout way this is semi-flattering as it means they feel intimidated or threatened by you.
Think logically about what they have said.
Are their comments true, or just designed to hurt?
If it is someone close to you, they are likely to know your biggest insecurities.
While it is not nice to think that people behave like this, some will.
If you have shared an insecurity that is thrown back in your face, remind yourself that this is likely only said to hurt you.
It may not even necessarily be what they truly think, so be aware of this.
#3. Remind Yourself Of Your Personal Worth
The comments made by toxic people reflect on them not you.
It is very important to be secure in yourself and have a good level of self-esteem.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Whenever you hear something negative about yourself, counteract it with 2-3 positive statements.
As long as you know within yourself that you are a good person, no one else’s comments matter.
You are strong and worthwhile, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
#4. Contextualize It
It is only one person’s opinion, try to put it in perspective.
There are so many people in the world and you interact with so many on a daily basis, what does one person matter?
If they are a close friend or family member this may be more difficult to understand conceptually.
To be a strong individual you need to rely on your own thoughts and opinions, and not get swayed by others.
Was there anything constructive in what they said?
Can you think of a way to reframe their comments to be constructive criticism?
Talk to others and see if they share your thoughts, or if they agree with the person putting you down to some extent.
Others may not even have seen an issue with what was said to you.
In this case it can feel as though you are overreacting but it is important to sit with these feelings and rationalize them.
Why did this upset you? What can you do to move forward?
#5. Distance Yourself From Them
In some cases, it may be wise to simply walk away from the verbal abuse.
This is particularly useful if you are encountering the same situation time and time again.
If either of you are getting angry or upset, it may also be the responsible thing to do to walk away and cool off a little.
Don’t respond immediately, instead give yourself some time to think of a calm and rational response.
If you respond immediately you may say something that you regret and stoop to their level.
In the future set boundaries to ensure you do not get hurt and that people know what is okay and what isn’t.
#6. Defuse The Situation
If the situation is not heated, you can try to defuse it a little by laughing their comments off.
It is important not to attack them back as this will simply lead to everyone getting more riled up.
One of the best ways to defuse a tense situation is to thank them for their opinion, even if it was not something you wanted to hear.
The more genuine the better, this will catch them off guard and hopefully calm everyone down.
#7. Explain Your Feelings To Them
This can be a difficult conversation to have, but explain why you’re upset by their comments.
You can ask them to stop in the future once it has been explained as there is no excuse.
In some cases, this conversation can lead to a better understanding of each other and may even develop into a healthy relationship.
However, know that sometimes these people don’t have the best communication skills.
So you might not get anywhere at first.
Because of this, it is important that you try to be patient and listen where they are coming from.
The more you can understand their frame of mind, the greater the chance you find a happy solution.
#8. Stress Management
There are many ways to reduce your stress through physical methods.
Some of the most common involve yoga, meditation, exercise, and mindfulness.
A lot of these exercises focus on deep breathing and breath control which are renowned for their positive impacts on mental health.
#9. Change Your Environment
Surround yourself with positive people!
The easiest way to change your mentality is to change your physical environment.
Choose to be around people that inspire you to be better and make you feel positive.
Your support circles should uplift you and give you confidence, so if this does not sound familiar it is time to make a change.
It may be like it’s a difficult time to expand your social circles but it is not impossible.
Look at Facebook and other social media groups to find like minded people.
- Read now: Discover how to make new friends
Be confident in yourself, and people will flock to you.
#10. Seek Professional Help
If your mental health is suffering as a result of the insecure people you are surrounded with, it may be smart to talk to a professional.
A qualified mental health professional can help you to look at situations differently and not be overcome with the initial shock of verbal abuse.
By having a plan to keep your emotions in check, you can better handle these negative insults.
#11. Choose To Be A Happy Person
It’s not easy, but the more confident person you can be, the happier you will be and the easier it will be to not let the negative comments effect you.
It will also be easier for you to have the difficult conversations with the negative people in your life too.
So make it a point to work on improving yourself and you will find it easier to deal with this type of behavior.
It is never a pleasant experience when someone constantly puts you down in front of others.
But the critical thing is how you react and handle the situation.
By choosing the wrong the option, you can let the hurt stay inside you and eventually become a worse person.
But if you learn how to handle it properly, you will be much happier and stronger.
Use these tips to help you deal with the issue head on, and you will end up in a much better place emotionally and mentally.
Jon Dulin is the passionate leader of Unfinished Success, a personal development website that inspires people to take control of their own lives and reach their full potential. His commitment to helping others achieve greatness shines through in everything he does. He’s an unstoppable force with lots of wisdom, creativity, and enthusiasm – all focused on helping others build a better future. Jon enjoys writing articles about productivity, goal setting, self-development, and mindset. He also uses quotes and affirmations to help motivate and inspire himself. You can learn more about him on his About page.