16 Shocking Clues Revealing Your BFF Might Secretly Be Turning Into Your Frenemy


Are you suddenly starting to question your BFF’s true colors?

Have all those huge fights and petty misunderstandings started piling up too high?

It could be that your best friend is actually in the process of turning into a frenemy without you even realizing it!

Don’t just sit back and accept any malicious behavior from someone who used to be so close.

There are 16, surprisingly easy-to-miss signs that can tell you whether or not your bond is fizzling out.

Let’s go in for more details about what happens when an ally morphs into a foe.

#1. Jealousy

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Jealousy is a toxic emotion that can quickly destroy even the closest friendships.

When jealousy consumes us, we act in ways that alienate our friends and hurt those closest to us.

Instead of being genuinely happy for our friends’ successes, we compare our lives to theirs and feel resentful.

Being jealous not only damages our friendships but also causes us tremendous amounts of stress.

#2. They Flirt with Your Crush

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A sure sign that your BFF isn’t really a friend is if they flirt openly with someone you’re interested in.

Whether it’s an old or current flame, this type of behavior shows their lack of consideration for your feelings and is an obvious example of a frenemy.

#3. Self-Centeredness

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Being self-centered might give you a sense of independence and control, but it also makes you a bad friend.

When you prioritize your needs and wants over everyone else’s, you are telling your friends their feelings and desires don’t matter.

This behavior can quickly lead to resentment and hurt feelings among your friends.

They may feel overlooked or undervalued, and their trust in you can erode over time.

#4. Betraying Trust

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Trust is the cornerstone of any strong friendship; once it’s broken, it’s almost impossible to repair.

Betraying someone’s trust is, therefore, one of the worst things you can do as a friend.

It shows that you don’t value the loyalty and confidence they’ve placed in you and are willing to risk their feelings for your own selfish gain.

Friends are supposed to support and uplift each other, not manipulate and deceive.

So, if you find yourself considering going behind your friend’s back or sharing their secrets without permission, remember that your actions have consequences.

You could lose a valued friendship, hurt someone you care about, and damage your reputation as a trustworthy person.

#5. Lack of Empathy

crying woman
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Empathy is a fundamental aspect of any meaningful relationship, particularly in friendship.

Without it, it becomes challenging to relate to the experiences and emotions of others, leading to strained relationships.

Lacking empathy makes you a bad friend because it reduces your ability to connect with your friends on an emotional level.

For example, if your friend is going through a tough time, a lack of empathy will prevent you from understanding and providing the necessary support to alleviate their pain.

Furthermore, a lack of empathy can create conflicts since you cannot appreciate how your actions or words affect your friend.

#6. Being Unreliable

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When someone is constantly unreliable, it creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and anxiety.

It’s simple. If you make plans with someone, they expect you to show up.

When you flake out or cancel last minute without any sort of explanation, it not only disappoints your friend, but it’s also disrespectful to their time and effort.

Additionally, being unreliable can make your friend feel undervalued and unimportant.

Friendship is a two-way relationship; when one person isn’t holding up their end of the bargain, it can cause resentment and negativity to fester.

#7. Being Excessively Judgmental

disgusted woman
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Being judgmental can be one of a person’s most damaging qualities.

When you are quick to put others down or criticize their choices, it can make them feel unimportant or unworthy of your support.

This behavior can also create distance between you and your friends, as they may be hesitant to confide in you or seek your advice, knowing they’ll be met with criticism instead of compassion.

It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect, and we all have flaws and imperfections.

#8. Lack of Accountability

annoyed man
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As friends, we have certain responsibilities to one another.

One of those responsibilities is accountability.

When we lack accountability, we become unreliable and risk damaging our friendships.

It’s essential to be honest and hold ourselves accountable for our actions.

Failing to do so can lead to disappointments, broken promises, and even resentment.

A lack of accountability conveys that we don’t value our friendships enough to take responsibility for our actions.

As a result, we lose the trust and respect of our friends, which can be hard to regain.

#9. Disrespecting Boundaries

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Ignoring or disregarding someone’s boundaries can lead to a breakdown of trust and respect.

When we don’t respect someone’s boundaries, we create an environment where they feel unsafe and uncomfortable.

This can result in them withdrawing from the friendship or ending it altogether.

A good friend listens to and honors the boundaries set by their friends, even when they don’t necessarily agree with them.

Respecting someone’s boundaries shows that we care about their feelings and well-being.

Conversely, failing to respect boundaries shows a lack of consideration and empathy, ultimately making us bad friends.

#10. Not Being Supportive

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Friendship is built on a foundation of support.

When someone needs a listening ear, encouragement, or a shoulder to cry on, being a friend means being there for them.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands this basic principle.

Being unsupportive can cause a rift in friendships and lead to hurt feelings.

It’s important to remember that supporting a friend through tough times doesn’t mean always agreeing with them or telling them what they want to hear.

It means being honest, showing empathy, and being willing to help in any way possible.

#11. Gossiping and Spreading Rumors

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Gossiping is a habit that can easily slip into friendships and negatively impact those relationships.

Engaging in gossip can make you a bad friend because it breaks down trust and promotes a culture of negativity.

When you gossip about someone, you betray their confidence and show that you aren’t trustworthy.

Additionally, spreading rumors can cause harm and damage to their reputation, which isn’t something a good friend would want to do.

Gossiping can also lead to a toxic dynamic in a friendship, as it can create an environment of rumors and tension.

#12. Lack of Communication

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Communication is vital in every aspect of our lives, especially in maintaining healthy relationships, and it can significantly harm friendships.

Communication issues such as interrupting others or not expressing yourself appropriately can cause misunderstandings and conflicts that can damage your friendship.

Being a bad communicator can make you seem uninterested in your friends’ lives, inattentive, or rude.

#13. Negativity and Constant Complaining

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Being a good friend means being there for one another through thick and thin.

However, being constantly negative can quickly wear on any friendship.

Friendship is a two-way street, but it can feel like a one-way street when one person consistently brings negativity to the table.

Negativity drains energy and can lead to a toxic friendship dynamic.

It’s important to remember that everyone goes through hardships, but constantly bringing a negative attitude to every conversation can make it difficult for friends to want to be around each other.

No one wants to be brought down all the time.

Friendships should uplift and support one another, not bring each other down.

#14. They Constantly Compare Themselves to You

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Competition between friends is one thing, but when it starts becoming an unhealthy obsession you know something is wrong.

If your pal is always trying to outshine or one-up you, then they’re probably more of an enemy than a friend. Be wary of any “friend” who constantly compares themselves to you and tries to make themselves look better in the process.

#15. Two-Faced

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A friend should always treat you with kindness and respect, regardless of who else is present. 

If you notice that they start behaving differently in front of others, or constantly try to outdo you, it may indicate an unhealthy dynamic in the friendship. 

It’s important to surround yourself with people who genuinely support and uplift you, rather than those who seek to overshadow or undermine your accomplishments. Remember, a healthy and fulfilling friendship is built on mutual respect, trust, and authenticity.

#16. Only Around When They Need Something

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If you’re the one who constantly reaches out, but your friend only responds when they need something from you, this may be a sign that your relationship isn’t balanced.

Consider how much effort each of you put in, if it feels like there’s an unequal exchange, take some time to reflect on why this might be the case and whether it’s worth continuing.

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