Women Think These Things They Do Are Attractive But Men Disagree

We all do things we think are attractive to draw in people we like. However, not all of these habits, whether trendy or not, have the desired effect. 

Redditor u/RaiFrog asked, “Guys, what’s the most unattractive thing girls do that they think is attractive?”. Here are the top answers according to Reddit. 

7. Plastic Surgery and Similar Procedures

Redditor u/alt_012023 said, “Reddit consensus loudly says: fake anything.”

u/Strange_Shadows-45 agreed, adding, “The relatively recent lip injection trend is just bad. People with very thin lips doing it sparingly don’t look bad, but the majority of girls doing them either a) already have fuller lips naturally or b) overdo them, so it just looks bad.”

u/Cashmere306 focused on another issue, “Huge fake boobs are ridiculous, it’d be tough for me to pick what’s worse.”

Related: Learn how to be more confident

6. Playing Hard to Get or Not Stating Feelings Clearly

Redditor u/omega_san offered a top-rated answer, “Dropping hints instead of just being direct.”

u/OttersAndOttersAndOt briefly explained their own experience with this type of behavior, “I recently found out the man I’m desperately in love with is autistic, and since then all of my communication and mild flirting has been very direct and he seems to pick up on it and reciprocate it clearer now. It made me realize how much easier it is to just be direct and clear.”

u/AphoticApex also chimed in, “Unfortunately, even if a girl sent me an engraved invitation to anything romantic or sexual and we weren’t already dating, I’d assume that she was just being nice or something along those lines. Then, a few months later, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I realize that I blew it. Lol.”

Meanwhile, u/HuntedWolf offered insight into why people might do this, “I think at some point everyone is like this. Being direct with your feelings makes you vulnerable, saying you like someone opens you up to be rejected. So people skirt around the borders, they drop subtle hints and take the less risky approach. It takes time for anyone to build confidence to put themselves out there, some people never really do it.”

5. Fake Voices That Some People Think Are Cute

Redditor u/gaveuptheghost responded with, “fake cutesy baby voice.” 

u/Starstruck_in_space agreed, “As a woman, these also make me want to vomit. Like, the only context I could see myself doing it in is for a satirical joke with friends, but never unironically.”

Some Redditors had explanations for why it exists in the first place. u/TheSSChallenger explained, “Marilyn Monroe talked in an exaggeratedly soft and husky, often on the verge of breathless. It was definitely fake, but was more of an adult type of sex appeal.

Baby voices were more of a trend in the 1920s with figures like Helen Kane and Betty Boop–and of course that was part of a broader fashion for ‘girlish’ youthfulness that dictated both the fashionable appearance (curveless figures combined with short hemlines and hairstyles that had previously been reserved for children) and behavior (which was generally far more playful and energetic than had previously been deemed acceptable for women.)

The 1960s did have a similar burst in youth culture (because Boomers) that brought about some real cringe fake teenagers. But by the time that came about Marilyn was already well-established in a more old-school bombshell persona.”

On the other side of the spectrum, u/Vintagepoolside built upon previous comments about this voice being a trauma response, “I never knew it was a trauma response. I had a linguistics class last semester that I learned women were more likely to engage in that behavior. I assumed it had to do with feminine expectations in society or something.

I don’t think was abused in any way, I’ve just always felt trapped mentally and like I’ve never been able to actually crawl out of myself. It’s like the person I am is locked up, and has been for so long that I’m not sure what parts are me and what parts are just adjustments I made to be something else.”

4. Behaving Poorly (Entitlement)

Redditor u/LostBoy1287 said, “Act rude and entitled.”

u/creptik1 responded with, “Went to dinner with a few friends, one of them I always thought was kind of cute but omg when I saw the way she talked to the waiter I lost all interest in her.”

u/Digitijs expanded on this sense of entitlement and behavior, “Dunno if most or only a few but I have seen girls who try to be tough by basically being rude and immature. Many guys do this as well – basically the whole alpha strong male behavior which usually is seen like just being an a-hole by majority of people.”

u/Leading-Bluebird7233 explained the above quite well, “I think confident and self assured looks like rude and entitled. I generally think the line between this is sooo thin, and depends on how others were raised to decide which they think they are.”

Related: Learn how to stop caring what other people think

3. Acting Less Intelligent Than You Are

Redditor u/Lady_Ruby41 said, “Dumbing themselves down. It’s never cute.”

u/indistrustofmerits replied, “I’ll never forget watching a good friend of mine just disappear into herself in high school because the guy she was dating was extremely dumb but thought he had all the answers. They were in classes together and if she scored better than him on tests he would freak out at her. She started failing on purpose. Thank God she got out of that and is doing really well.”

u/MimeGod said, “The guys that have a problem with that aren’t worth being with anyways. As a fairly smart guy, I find that dumb women get boring pretty quickly. Maybe that was cool way back when wives were mostly just decorative possessions, but nowadays it’s just lame.”

2. Trying to Be an Influencer or Desperately Needing Online Attention

Redditor u/steeze206 said, “Taking endless selfies. That nonstop need for an online dopamine hit and constant need for being liked is one of the worst qualities in a person IMO.”

u/sub-sugarbabe replied, “I don’t understand why anyone would like an endless stream of pretty much the same photo day after day after day. Some girls insta pages are literally just photos of their face from the same angle. Hundreds!”

u/Medical-Season3979 added, “I encourage all women and girls to stop doing this. I had a horrible habit of doing this in my 20s and it caused so many problems with my mental health. I stopped taking selfies and ‘living my life online’ and learned to discern reality from fantasy (online presence) and my mental health couldn’t be better. You don’t realize how bad it is until you’re looking at it through an outside perspective. And internet/social media addiction is real, it’s insane what it does to your mindset and everything.”

Related: Find out how to overcome negative thoughts

1. Being Attractive Without Substance

Redditor u/BarkingMad14 said, “Basing your entire personality and life around your appearance. It might be attractive in the short-term, but if you treat yourself like some kind of trophy you are just objectifying yourself. Especially when you think that is enough and have nothing else.

Both men and women would ideally like a partner they find physically attractive, but regardless of your gender, if you base your whole life around looking good and not developing and improving yourself as a person, you will be unattractive.”

Two people responded to this, talking about the time it takes to get ready, with u/mrsunshine1 adding, “To build on this, needing to put makeup on and change outfits every time you step outside, even if it’s just popping out to the store. It’s annoying if you need an hour to get ready for a 15 minute trip to CVS. Not cute.”, 

And u/FirstPosition5493 stated, “You know my ex? Hair, makeup, everything had to be done up like she was getting ready for a date, when all she was doing was two minutes in the convenience store to get milk and eggs. I just shook my head and shut my mouth.”

u/Ooze3D said, “I’d add ‘basing your entire personality around one single trait and nothing else’. Be it horses, makeup, a specific sport, the color pink or simply ‘letting everyone around you know how weird and special you are at all times’.”

u/ChunChunChooChoo agreed, “One of my ex’s did this and it drove me crazy. Also hated how we were late everywhere we went because she could never be ready to leave on time. I would be ready to go and be sitting waiting for her as she scrambled around the house, and she would throw passive aggressive insults at me like it was somehow my fault for wanting to leave.”

u/TransportationIll282 expanded upon this, saying, “It gets more ridiculous when that person says they don’t have time to do X. X could include but is not limited to: cooking, exercising, reading, learning an instrument. I cooked an entire meal by the time my ex got ready to go to a drive-in.”

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