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We tend to want to know reasons. Why did she break up with me? Why didn’t I get that job? The list goes on and on. We spend so much time dwelling on the past when we should be focused on the present and thoughts of the future and what is ahead of us. A great saying is that God put eyes in the front of our head so we can see what’s coming, not where we came from.
The Art of Letting Go
All the effort and energy you put into trying to figure things out is wasted. You should be using that energy on what is in store for you. Simply accept what has happened and move on with your life.
A few years ago, I was in a job I hated. The job was going nowhere and my co-workers were miserable people. Going to work truly was work! I started to apply for other jobs and every time, I kept getting turned down. At first, I became dismayed and wondered why I wasn’t getting a call-back. As time went on however, I changed my outlook and decided that what is done is done. I need to keep looking ahead. I applied for another job I came across a few months later and I ended up getting the job. It’s been the best job I’ve ever had.
Now some might think that this is just odds playing out. If I keep applying for jobs, eventually I will get one. Just like if you keep calling heads when flipping a coin, eventually you will be right. But this isn’t the case here. The reason is because I learned something during those few months while I stopped applying for jobs.
Originally, I was applying for jobs simply because I hated my current job, not because I wanted a better job or to do something different. In other words, I was looking for a new job to fill the emptiness inside of me that my current job was giving me.
During these few months, I learned to let more things slide off my back and not take things so personally at work. I grew into a better person while working a miserable job. When I applied for that new job, I wasn’t applying to simply get me out of horrible job, I wanted that new job because it was something that I wanted to do and was something that excited me.
The Art of Letting Go: Eventually It Will All Make Sense
Of course, there are times when it won’t make sense to you. You might have to do a little work to connect the dots. I know of someone whose relationship ended. He was heart-broken. He didn’t understand why this happened. A few months after the break-up, he received a promotion at his job and had to move over 1,000 miles away. He took that promotion and loves his work even more than before.
Looking back, he realizes that had that relationship not ended, he would not have taken the promotion. He would still be back home working his old job. That might be OK, but it wouldn’t be where he is supposed to be. He has since found a wonderful woman that he is married to and they have a child on the way.
Take this same attitude when you feel passed over for a job or a promotion. Take the same attitude if a relationship ended as well. There is something bigger and better out there for you. What happens to you today might not make any sense in the now, but in time, chances are it will become clear to you.
Get out of the habit of trying to understand the reasoning for why everything happens to you. Accept it as best you can and decide to move forward with your life. Learn the art of letting go. You will be much happier both in the near term and the long term if you can learn to do this. If you can do this, something bigger and better will make its way into your life.
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