How to Break The Cycle of Not Being Good Enough


not good enoughAre you someone who struggles with the feeling of being unworthy or inadequate? Do you sometimes feel as though you are not good enough? If you do, you are not alone.

We live in a world where we are constantly asked to compare ourselves to others whose standards we are expect to measure up to. All too often we are asked to be someone other than who we are. Many of us then lose ourselves.

Being one’s self is no longer admired or encouraged. We are all expected to look alike, behave alike and if you don’t, then you are the odd one out.

We focus on all the things that seem to make us not feel good about ourselves. We never take the time to see ourselves as separate individuals, with different dreams and aspirations. We are always being compared to or are comparing ourselves to someone else. We all are trying to live someone else’s dream and not our own.

Too often we see ourselves as failures. We diminish our achievements; we belittle ourselves, and wonder why we feel badly about ourselves. We often wonder why we do the very things we promise ourselves never to do. We make the same mistakes over and over again?

No matter how good we are at our jobs, whether it is running our homes or own businesses we all suffer from not feeling good enough. We are never satisfied with our achievements and so we work ourselves to frazzles or suffer from all other mental illnesses brought on by stress.

We are constantly being judged. We have this desire to worry about everything. Many of us walk around with the world on our shoulders.

Why is it so hard for us to love ourselves the way we are? Why do we find it so hard to accept ourselves? We need to refocus. We need to regain our self and self-worth and below are a list of way how to do this.

11 Ways To Regain Your Self Worth

Take some time to focus on yourselves. Find out what about you that makes you unique. Celebrate your uniqueness and accept those differences. Find something about yourself that you love and focus on why you love it. Find something you dislike and focus on it too and why you dislike it and why should love that part of you anyhow. You must remember the part you love and that part that you dislike are both part of the same unique person.

Write messages to yourself   Find ways to encourage yourself as to why you are good enough. Why it is OK to make mistakes, but yet those mistakes don’t change who you are nor will they be repeated tomorrow. Those mistakes are what will make you a better person. It doesn’t diminish your abilities or reduce your strength. Mistakes don’t make you less than, it should make you stronger to the contrary. Your mistakes should be the steps you climb to the top by overcoming them one by one.

Focus on your strengths. What is it about you that make you so much more determined to succeed. Is your successes because you refuse to give up or because you work harder or both? Celebrate your strength. Work on your advantages and build up those areas that are not so strong.

I did the best I could, and in some arenas, my best was not good enough. I’ve made some bad choices. Amy Grant

Affirm yourself every day why you deserve the best. Focus on the things about you that make you so very good. Speak positive things to yourself. Call yourself great, a wonderful friend, awesome wife, best mother, loving a daughter. Feed positive affirmations into your life and gradually see yourself shine.

You will start to breathe better and relax more. You are now coming into your own. You start to love you more and more.

Accept that you are only human and not perfect. You must accept that you will always be trying and sometimes failing but keep going forward.

Stop criticizing yourself. In order to stop feeling as though you are not good enough you have to stop critiquing everything you do. You must resist the temptation to be negative towards yourself and things you do. It will take a little getting used to, but you must do it.

Resist the temptation to be negative. Negativity is one of the most difficult habits to get rid of since it has been ingrained in our being. Negativity is everywhere around us. It starts with what we look like, how we should feel and then it gets into our mindset and every aspect of our lives. You must start replacing those negative habits with positive ones. Make a list of all the negative messages you hear and can remember in one day and you will realize that our lives are filled with negativity influences.

Start telling yourself how worthy you are of all you have. Say out loud to yourself how much you awesome you are and that you are indeed good enough. Tell yourself that you have worked hard and so deserve to be happy.

I don’t even know why I’m saying this in an interview situation, but I always feel like I’m not good enough for some reason. I wish that wasn’t the case, but left to my own devices, that voice starts speaking up. Trent Reznor

Meditate. Take the time to meditate and to focus on what is truly important. Focus on your inner self and give love to you because you deserve it. Practice hugging and loving on you. Saying wonderful and kind uplifting things to yourself every chance you get. That is how you will change your mind.

Change your attitude about your past. There is nothing you can do about the past and so dwelling on your past mistakes and lost opportunities will never erase them. You can change the future and see the pass as the stepping stone towards your wonderful life ahead of you. Do not punish yourself or others for things that happen in the past. Choose to let go and release others and most of all yourself from past hurt and pain. Resenting others is like drinking poison and expecting others to die.

Learn to forgive. You must forgive and forget not only others but yourself. We are taught to forgive and forget, but little is taught about forgiving ourselves for our guilt and shame. Let go of it all and put it behind you in the past as it is and move forward. Use those mistakes and disappointments to forge a better future for you and those around you.

Breaking the cycle of not feeling good enough takes work but can be done and must be done. That is the only way you will be able to see yourself as worthy and achievements as such. You will not be able to live a happy life unless you see yourself as being good enough.

Author Bio: Rose Costas is a big believer in the power of facing your challenges head on and then bolding wearing your scars to show others that they too can be triumphant. She is an accountant by profession with a new found passion for blogging and a future author and best seller. She is a strong believer that if you can face your fears you can do anything. You can join her on twitter, FB, or sign up to receive her amazing free eBook on “31 ways to build your confidence today.

6 thoughts on “How to Break The Cycle of Not Being Good Enough”

  1. Great post.

    One of the greatest things I ever said to myself was, “I’m just a person.” It’s human to feel things. To hurt and make mistakes and get messy. And that’s okay. We’re all just people.

    And it’s funny, because all these “just people” are amazing. Can you imagine a world full of people just being who they really are? It would be amazing!

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks for your comment Tara. I believe if we all encourage people one by one to be themselves we could change the world. It starts with one and we are lucky to have found two. You do your part and I mine and the world will be a better place. A place filled with confident and happy people being who they were meant to be.

  2. Rose, excellent article. We all fall into the trap of being too negative on ourselves. We need to
    learn that we are all special in our own way and focus on the positive, not the negative.

    1. You are so right Bill. We tend to be very hard on ourselves. Never forget that everybody makes mistakes but you are never your mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on.

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