The Dark Side of Self-Care: 10 Toxic Tips You Need to Ditch ASAP

We all know the importance of prioritizing self-care and looking after ourselves to stay healthy. But not all the tips and tricks marketed as “self-care” are created equal – some may even have detrimental effects on our well-being!

In an online forum, a person asked what self-care tips are more bad than good. In other words, toxic self-care tips. Here are the most popular answers.

#1. Always Trust Your Feelings

While trusting your feelings can be valuable for making certain decisions, it’s not always reliable or the best approach in every situation. This is because feelings can be misleading.

Many factors can influence emotions, including past experiences, biases, and even physical sensations.

Therefore, they may not always accurately represent reality, and acting solely based on your feelings can lead to poor decision-making.

#2. Live Your Truth

The advice to “live your truth” is not necessarily bad advice, but it can be problematic in certain situations. First, living your truth can be subjective. What one person considers to be their “truth” may not be the same for someone else.

This can create conflicts or misunderstandings in interpersonal relationships or professional settings where different values, beliefs, and cultures come into play. It can also lead to self-centeredness; focusing solely on your desires can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding toward others.

Sometimes, it may even cause harm to those around you.

As one person said, “I’ve yet to meet a person who uses ‘I’m speaking my truth’ who didn’t mean ‘I don’t care how incorrect or hurtful what I’m about to say is; if you don’t accept it you’re disrespecting me.’

#3. Ignore The Haters

Sometimes, ignoring those who speak mean to you is a smart thing. They may be jealous of your success. But ignoring criticism can also prevent personal growth.

It’s important to differentiate between constructive criticism and flat-out criticism. Constructive criticism can be valuable feedback that helps us grow and improve.

If we ignore all criticism, we may miss opportunities for personal development and growth.

Related: Learn what to do when someone puts you down in front of others

#4. Girl Boss

While “girl boss” has become incredibly popular in recent years, looking at the other side of the coin is important. While it can be empowering to see women taking charge and succeeding in their careers, the term can reinforce harmful societal expectations.

There is the expectation that women must balance work and family life while looking perfect doing it all. The “girl boss” idea perpetuates the idea that women need to do it all and do it perfectly.

Additionally, the term can lead to competition and pressure among women to be achieving and “bossing” up constantly. Celebrating women’s successes in the workplace is important, but we should also recognize and challenge the societal pressures that come with the “girl boss” label.

#5. Manicures And Pedicures

Manis and pedis are great ways to destress and indulge. But not everyone enjoys this form of self-care.

As one person says, “I feel like stuff like face masks and pedicures and manicures, etc. are constantly pushed on us as “self-care” to the point where like, you almost get conditioned or peer pressured into believing it is, even if you don’t genuinely enjoy it.”

At the end of the day, you have to pamper yourself in ways that make you feel good, not what is trending.

#6. Being Brutally Honest

We’ve all heard “honesty is the best policy,” but is it really? Being brutally honest can often do more harm than good. Sure, it’s important to tell the truth, but there’s a difference between being honest and being harsh.

When we’re brutally honest, we may inadvertently hurt other people’s feelings and cause damage to our relationships.

It’s important to consider our honesty’s timing, tone, and delivery.

Sometimes a little diplomacy can go a long way. So next time you’re in a situation where honesty is necessary, remember it’s not just about telling the truth. It’s about being tactful and compassionate too.

#7. Once You Fall Out Of Love With Someone, You Cannot Fall Back In Love

Breaking up can be tough, especially if you’re still holding on to hope that you can salvage the relationship. But many people believe that they’re gone for good once those loving feelings are gone.

However, that’s only sometimes the case. Falling out of love with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t have those feelings reignited.

Sometimes, all it takes is a change in perspective or circumstances.

Maybe you and your partner needed some time to grow as individuals. Or perhaps a spark of something new can reignite the fire you once had.

Of course, it’s not always possible, but don’t give up hope just because things aren’t working out right now. Love can be complex and unpredictable, so who knows what the future holds?

Related: Here is how to stop caring about someone

#8. Be Who You Are

Being who you are sounds like great advice, right? Well, not always. Sometimes, being who you are can be a recipe for disaster.

For example, if you’re someone who is quick to anger or prone to anxiety, being true to yourself in those moments may not be the best idea. Instead, it’s important to recognize your flaws and work to improve them.

Being self-aware and open to change is crucial for personal growth. So, while embracing your unique qualities is important, it’s equally important to recognize when those qualities may need some refining. After all, we’re all works in progress.

#9. Do Whatever Feels Right

It’s tempting to go with our gut and do whatever feels right in the moment, but that type of decision-making can come with some serious consequences.

ometimes our instincts lead us down the right path, but they can also lead us astray.

When we base our choices solely on what feels good, we’re not considering the potential long-term effects or the impact on those around us.

As one person said, “There’s also the problem that sometimes we have to go through some unpleasant things in the short term to get worthwhile benefits in the long term.

If you always avoid things that make you uncomfortable, you’re probably stunting your own growth.”

#10. Test Friendships

Sometimes, people suggest testing friendships as a way to determine who your true friends are. But is that a good idea? Remembering friendships are built on trust and mutual respect is important.

Testing someone’s loyalty might betray that trust and damage the relationship.

One person commented, “Any kind of advice that tells you to test friendships by withholding contact to see if they’ll notice or straight up tells you to drop friends that don’t reach out to you regularly is a very selfish and passive aggressive thing to do. If you miss your friend then call them up, don’t play cat and mouse games.”

Related: Discover how to make new friends as an adult

#11. Blood Is Thicker Than Water

Many people subscribe to the notion that family ties are the strongest bonds one can have. While this can certainly be true in some cases, it’s important to remember that just because someone is related to you doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the best person to have in your life.

Blood relatives can often be toxic, abusive, or not good for mental health.

As one person said, “If they are toxic or abusive then there is no reason for you to keep that around in your life, especially if it is detrimental to your own well-being/mental health.”

Related: Find out how to deal with a two faced sister in law

#12. Positive Vibes Only

You often hear the phrase “positive vibes only” as advice for maintaining a happy and healthy mindset. However, this catchy phrase isn’t always the best advice to follow.

Life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, and it’s important to acknowledge negative emotions and work through them instead of simply suppressing them.

By focusing only on positive thoughts and feelings, we can easily fall into the trap of denying our feelings and experiences, ultimately leading to a buildup of stress and anxiety.

So instead of solely striving for positivity, let’s aim for balance and acknowledge the full range of emotions that come with being human.

One person said, “A positive attitude can get you a long way but so can acknowledging and letting yourself feel emotions.”

#13. If You Can’t Handle Me At My Worst, You Don’t Deserve Me At My Best

We’ve all heard the classic line, “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.” While it may seem empowering and strong, it isn’t always the best advice to follow.

Sure, embracing yourself and your quirks is important, but it’s equally important to recognize and acknowledge your flaws.

Using this phrase as an excuse for negative behavior or treating others poorly isn’t healthy or fair. Relationships are about give and take, and expecting people to put up with bad behavior is problematic and damaging.

Ultimately, striving for personal growth and development is important, rather than leaning on a catchphrase that can justify negative behavior.

This thread inspired this article.

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