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We all have plans or goals for what we want out of life.
But many of us are stuck.
Some have been stuck for a while, not understanding why we can’t get ahead and achieve more.
The most common reason is you are carrying baggage with you.
Things that happened in your past, you still carry with you and these burdens not only slow you down, but can stop your progress completely.
In order to get ahead, you need to get your shit together.
I apologize for being so blunt, but you needed to hear it.
So today I am going to walk you through how to get your crap together so you can start living life again.
As cliche as it sounds, the direction of how your life turns out is completely under your control and nobody else’s.
So let’s get real and honest with ourselves right now so you can start living your dreams.
How To Get Your Crap Together
13 Steps To Getting Your Life Together
You can’t get your life together without initially admitting that you’re in the middle of a shit storm that is your life.
Being humble and owning to your mistakes is the first step to get your ish together.
When you don’t have your life in order, this becomes the root cause of other problems in your life, such as lack of motivation, not knowing what you want to accomplish, and other significant things.
To get your life back together, stop making excuses and be accountable for your mistakes.
You can’t keep blaming everyone else for everything that goes wrong because as we’ve already mentioned, you hold the steering wheel in your life.
This means that you are the only person accountable for every decision and every mistake that happens.
This also means stop apologizing and stop playing the victim in your story.
Life can be painful and devastating, but you’ve come this far which only means one thing. You’re a survivor, not a victim.
Start owning who you are and going after what you truly want in life.
You can’t get your stuff together when you’re dwelling on everything that went wrong.
Instead, realize your mistakes, own up to them, and take back the control in your life.
You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for, you just have to realize it.
Here are 13 steps to help you accomplish this.
#1. Admit You Messed Up
As any self help guru will tell you, the first step in making your life better is by admitting where you went wrong.
This sounds simple, but most people get through the other parts of this list without doing this first part.
It’s hard to admit that you messed up and made mistakes and that’s okay.
Don’t make an excuse. Become accountable.
We all make dumb decisions.
Stop being a human excuse maker like everyone else.
Most people, at least the unsuccessful ones, refuse to accept blame.
They come up with a silly excuse no matter what.
Don’t be like this.
It’s time to own up to these mistakes when they happen.
Admit you were wrong and take the time to learn from the mistake.
What went wrong? What could you do differently next time?
When you’re ready, this step will set you free in working on the messy parts of your life to become better.
It’s not easy to admit our failures, but it’s a necessary part of being better and a requirement as adults.
#2. Decide Who You Are And What You Want
You can’t work on being better if you’re unclear on what you want in the first place.
Decide your goals and write down everything you want to achieve.
This step will help you gain clarity on the kind of future you want to achieve and how you plan to achieve them.
Lists are always helpful so if you have a journal with you, write down your goals, and under each goal, think of ways on how you plan to achieve that goal.
- Read now: Discover how to start a bullet journal
This may seem like a lot of work and even overwhelming, but it sets the right intention in accomplishing your goals.
One of the reasons why your life feels messy is you don’t know who you are or what you want anymore.
In order to GYST, you need to figure that part out to figure out the rest.
#3. Change Your Habits And Lifestyle
Another cliche line, but it’s important to realize that your habits and lifestyle can hold you back and drag you down six feet under.
Toxic habits and lifestyles will prevent you from becoming the person you want and this is what separates accomplished people from the average.
You need to assess your lifestyle and check the things and aspects holding you back, including the friendships and relationships holding you back.
- Read now: Learn how to deal with negative people
Once you identify the things, or people, holding you back, it is time to take action.
You need to leave them behind.
You have only room for healthy and good things and people in your life so cut off everything that doesn’t belong.
Don’t be afraid of change as the person you’re becoming is on the other side of your fear and anxiety.
Unfortunately, this also goes for negative thoughts.
Leave everything, including habits, people, thoughts, emotions, and lifestyles, that doesn’t encourage your growth.
You might get caught up at times with this one.
Your feelings will tell you to keep that long time friend in your life.
But if they are not adding value or happiness to your life, the relationship needs to go.
You need to hold the belief that there are better people out there for you.
People who will lift you up and not put you down.
People who will give you energy, not take it from you.
Be confident in your decisions and take the steps needed to be better.
#4. Choose To Be Better
Getting your shit together is hard enough to accomplish.
You can’t just wake up one day and live a complacent life.
Stop living in familiarity and comfort and instead, embrace change and uncertainty.
You need to choose yourself and most importantly, you need to choose decisions that contribute to your growth.
Every person’s progress is different but as long as you’re moving forward and not backward, you’re doing what you can to move forward in life.
So find ways to improve yourself.
You don’t need to pick something new every day.
Pick one thing and work on it until it becomes a habit.
Then pick something else and work on that.
Remember that life is journey and change and improvement takes time.
#5. Accept You Aren’t Perfect
Nobody is going to be perfect, which makes perfectionism an impossible standard to live up to.
When you’re trying to get your life back together, accept that you’ll fail and make mistakes along the way.
This is a huge part of your journey.
Allow yourself to dive into a walking shit storm and use this as an opportunity to grow and learn from those mistakes.
- Read now: Learn the importance of failing
- Read now: Find out how to bounce back from failure
Don’t dive in further and engage in self sabotaging ways but instead, use your mistakes to your advantage and learn from them.
A successful person doesn’t become that way overnight, but it takes several mistakes before they get to that point.
The same goes for you.
Don’t expect you’ll get it right the first time around but instead focus on growing and learning every month.
#6. Go Offline
When attempting to figure things out for yourself, the last place you should be is on social media.
Even though we live in a modern world surrounded by technology, social media is where comparison is most present so you should avoid it when working on improving yourself.
It’s so easy to be discouraged when you see everyone in your social life posting the significant details of their lives, with several likes and comments.
Don’t let yourself get dragged into thinking that there’s no hope for you and you’re behind compared to everyone else.
Realize that people only post the highlights of their lives on social media, but nobody posts their vulnerability, mistakes, flaws, and failures.
This is precisely why you can’t be online when you’re getting your crap together as it’s the best place for your mind and your emotions to quickly go out of control.
#7. Practice Gratitude
You don’t realize this, but the majority of your toxic habits and mindsets come from your lack of gratitude.
When you shift your mindset towards a more grateful one, this changes your life for the better and may even help you get things together.
When you have more gratitude, you’ll easily appreciate all the things you already have instead of complaining and looking for the things you don’t.
You will also appreciate the experiences in the moment and have fewer regrets.
You’ll find more pleasure in life instead of always focusing on the negatives.
Gratitude is all you need to shift your perspective and instead of blaming your mistakes on others or even yourself, you can use it as a stepping stone to becoming better.
#8. Be Okay With Not Being Okay
There’s this unhealthy notion that the road to self improvement is supposed to be perfect and feel good all the time, which is a false notion.
In fact, the road to fixing your crap is the exact opposite of good and perfect.
There will be times it will feel confusing, painful, and disastrous where you’ll be tempted to give up, more than once.
However, this is a good sign that you’re in the right direction in getting your life back on track.
Change was never supposed to be easy so if you’re persistent in fixing your life, accept the feeling of discomfort and uncertainty in getting there.
#9. Get Physical
When getting your life together, don’t forget about your physical self.
Make sure you take time a few days a week to improve your physical body.
Lift weights, go for a walk, take a spin class.
The key is to figure out what you enjoy doing and do that.
For me, I started out running. After a few times, I realized I didn’t enjoy it.
So I stopped doing it.
I tried a spin class and loved it. I also enjoy walking.
So every morning, I take a 20 minute walk and a few times a week I take a spin class.
This physical activity helps to reset my body and my mind.
If I am upset or angry, after my exercise I find I am in a better mood.
If there is a problem I cannot solve, I tend to come up with the answer out of the blue during a walk or soon after.
#10. Plan Ahead
When everything is in chaos, you need to plan ahead.
The best time to do this is at the end of your day.
Take 10 minutes and look at the things you need to get done tomorrow and list them out.
Then take a few minutes to figure out what time you need to wake up and be out of the house.
Doing this is beneficial in a few ways.
First, it clears your mind so you are able to fall asleep quicker and get a better night’s rest.
Next, it makes the morning a little less stressful because you know what you need to do.
It also motivates you because you know what you need to get done.
And finally, it makes you more successful because you won’t waste time every morning trying to figure out what needs to be done.
#11. Break Your Day Down
As great as it is to plan ahead, you need to structure your plan in a way so you can get the most out of every day.
This means you need to organize your to do list.
To start, simply write everything down that needs to be done.
Then, break everything down by importance.
The most important things should be at the top of your list and the least important at the bottom.
Too many people put the easy things first, which tend to be not important and as a result, never get a lot done.
By putting the most important tasks first, which tend to be the hardest, you get a lot more done.
Plus, you will be motivated to keep getting more done because you are excited you knocked out that huge task.
#12. Use Time Blocking
You just read you need to get the biggest task done first but it is overwhelming when you look at it.
As a result, you become paralyzed.
What do you do?
This is where time blocking comes into play.
I discovered this a few years ago and it had completely changed my life for the better.
Get a timer, use your phone or get an old school cooking timer and set it for 20 minutes.
Then for 20 minutes, focus on one part of that huge task.
When the timer rings, take a 5 minute break to do whatever you want.
Then set the timer again for 20 minutes and get back to work.
As you get better at this, you can adjust the times.
I typically go for 25 minutes, take a 2 minute break to stretch or drink water, then go for 25 minutes again before taking a 5 minute break.
By breaking large tasks into smaller simple steps like this, you bypass the feeling of overwhelm and get things done.
#13. Stay Positive
The final tip is to always look on the bright side of things.
Try to find the positive in every situation in life.
This will be hard at first, so focus on the small things first.
For example, if you are stuck in traffic, admit that the benefit is you get to listen to your favorite music a little longer.
As you practice this, you will find it is easier to find the good in everything.
And you will notice that negative thoughts and feelings are easier to push aside.
Get Your Life Together In A Week
I added in this section because I get a lot of people asking me how to get your life together in one week.
The reality is, this can rarely be done.
You will find articles talking about how it is possible, but the truth is, all you can do is start.
There will be no magical change to your life overnight.
The world doesn’t work that way.
If it did, everyone would have their life in order.
So quit trying to seek out plans to get it done quickly.
You need to dig in deep and get at the demons that are holding you back.
And this takes time.
If you use the tools the tips I highlighted throughout this article, then you will be on your way to achieving your goal.
How To Get Your Life Together Checklist
I’ve covered a lot of ground on getting your life back in order.
If you are short on time or need a quick recap, here are the steps you need to follow.
- Don’t obsess on checking social media
- Decide you want to be better, every day
- Adjust your habits and lifestyle accordingly
- Learn from your mistakes
- Take accountability for your mistakes and own up to them but not making an excuse
- Accept that you’re struggling
- Learn to ask for help from others
- Realize that you aren’t a victim, but a survivor
- Focus on accomplishing your goals in simple ways
- Go easy on yourself, but not to a point of making excuses
- Accept that things won’t always go your way and that’s okay
- Stop apologizing and complaining about everything
Final Thoughts
Having your life out of control is never a good feeling.
But instead of allowing it to continue and letting it get you down, it’s time to make a change.
It’s not easy to get your life back together, but it’s necessary if you want to live a good and adequate life.
By refusing to deal with the mess in your life, you won’t be truly living, you’ll just be going with the flow of your life
This is the absolute worst way to live.
Deciding to get your stuff together is the best decision you can make.
And when you make the effort to improve, your life will change for the better.
You will experience more happiness and success, have greater confidence and by motivated to grow more.
Lish is a personal development enthusiast who wants to help people of all ages uplevel their lives. She is of the opinion that we are only limited by our beliefs and that once we overcome our limiting beliefs, we can truly live a life without regrets. She is the author behind Mind Her Way where she shares her thoughts on personal growth and relationships.