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Have you ever found yourself stuck in the painfully sticky situation of caring way too much about someone who doesn’t deserve it? Do they have an oddly compelling hold over your heart and mind, causing you to spiral down a slippery slope of overwhelming emotions and thoughts that are hard to make sense of?
If so, don’t worry. There is hope. Here are effective strategies on how to stop caring about someone, strategies designed not just to help break those unhealthy attachments but also to equip you with the skills needed for profound internal growth.
#1. Realize Your Self Worth
This is a great way to stop caring about someone.
After someone has left your life, it is normal to feel inadequate and unlovable. In fact, the average person has the same feelings of hurt from physical pain as they do from a broken heart.
Boost your confidence through words of self-affirmation and focus on surrounding yourself with people that make you happy.
#2. Follow Your Heart
To heal your broken heart, you need to let go of a lot of emotional baggage and do things that make you happy and feel rewarded. Do not get caught in the trap of living your life for others, as this will never fulfill you.
The first step to self-improvement is to ensure you feel confident in your decisions. To make this easier, list the things you love to do and what you want to do and focus on these things and living life.
#3. Realize That What Others Think Is Not Important
The most important opinion in the world is your own. Do not allow the opinions of others to dictate your life and happiness. You need to learn how to stop caring what other people think. Many times this is easier said than done.
But you need to work at this, as trying to live your life based on others’ opinions is a recipe for disaster. Take the time to understand your core values and what you think. Then live your life based on this.
#4. Accept The Fact They Do Not Care About You
This is the bitter truth, but it’s an essential step in the healing process. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better. Whatever relationship you used to have with them has gone, and it is unlikely to come back.
Don’t keep fighting to win them back once it is clear this will not happen. As hard as it is, try not to beg for them back. Protect your dignity and allow them the space to move on. In time, you, too, will feel better about this.
#5. Feel Your Feelings
The biggest issue people face is they try not to feel. Don’t try to repress the way you are feeling. Remember that it is OK to have negative feelings. Instead of putting on a brave face and acting unaffected, allow yourself time and space to experience your true feelings.
In the short term, this will hurt more, but it will allow you to heal healthily and move forward past this individual. Plus, it will enable you to have healthy relationships in the future.
Too often, we never go through the process of hurting, leading to a toxic relationship and more heartbreak in the future. And something important to remember, even after you work through your feelings, you will have negative emotions again from time to time. This is a normal part of life, so don’t beat yourself up about it.
#6. Let Go of The Past
Try to reach a state of mental clarity. You do not need to regret the past or cling to it. Try not to idolize your past experiences, as humans tend to look back with rose-tinted goggles.
Instead, think of your past with that person as an act of personal development that has shaped you into who you are today. Be thankful that you had good times, but also remember that not everything was perfect and that there was a reason you grew apart. Letting go is a crucial step to moving on.
#7. Practice Mindfulness or Meditation
An excellent way to try and break out of a cycle of negative emotions is to become more mindful in your life. Exercise such as yoga or pilates focuses on deep breathing and mindfulness combined with gentle physical activity.
You do not have to do yoga or meditate to be more mindful. This could be as simple as writing a journal in the morning or taking a walk with your thoughts. Mindfulness is a great way to improve your positivity and mental clarity, and it is worth trying to see if it helps.
#8. Cut All Ties
Stop messaging, stop calling them, and remove them from your social media. It is hard to stop caring about someone when constantly reminded of them. It will be hard at first, but removing them from your social media is a good place to start.
This means that you will not have to see what they are up to and will not be caught in the trap of comparing yourself and your life to them and theirs. Everyone moves at different rates and deals with emotions differently, so there is no benefit to comparing yourself to them.
Once they have made it clear that they don’t care about you, or aren’t interested in you, stop wasting your time. You will only set yourself up to be hurt this way, and respecting other people’s boundaries is important.
Delete their number, so you have less temptation to contact them. When you have the temptation to reach out to them or stalk them online, instead choose to reach out to a good friend and work on building a stronger, healthy relationship with them.
#9. Stop Thinking About The What Ifs
You cannot change the past, and there are reasons for everything that happens. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in the ‘what if’s of a situation. You will never be able to know for sure what would have happened if life did not go that way.
Don’t let yourself waste your life by becoming obsessed with the potential alternate outcomes of a situation. Use your energy productively and focus on working to improve your current situation.
This is a much more constructive use of your time and will help you to feel better. Ask happy people why they are happy all the time, and they will all say they are living in the present, not in the past. Learn to live your personal life in the now, too, and you will be surprised at how much better life is.
Related: Learn how to be happy with you have
#10. Make a Life Change
Sometimes the best way to cope with a difficult time is to make a change in your life to regain control. This could be something small like rearranging your bedroom, or you could change your hairstyle. Some people swear by changing their environment instead.
Go for a short vacation or apply to volunteer and help others. Think about things in your life that don’t completely satisfy you, and work towards changing that.
#11. Seek Out New Hobbies
Are there things you’ve always wanted to try but never did? Now is a great time to try out a new hobby. Maybe you want to play a new sport or take up gardening.
Whatever it is, stepping outside your comfort zone will help you grow and be a better person and get your mind off your previous relationship. And who knows, the things you gain from your new pursuits may lead to good qualities that a future partner is looking for!
#12. Improve Yourself
Take stock of your life. What areas can you improve? What bad things are you guilty of? Are there some bad habits you want to break? Replace them with new habits that better your life.
Start setting some goals for yourself and try to achieve them. The more work you do to improve yourself, the faster you will get over your heartbreak.
#13. Focus on What You Have
A simple but often overlooked way to improve your mood and outlook is to focus on the great things you have. I’m not necessarily talking about material things here, either. A loving family and close friends are things not everyone has.
What about your health or a stable job? The more things you can be grateful for, the better off you will be.
#14. Spend Time With Important People
The best way to overcome hardships is to surround yourself with supportive people. In fact, the best thing you can do is spend time with friends. Fill your time by doing fun and fulfilling activities with people that uplift you and make you happy.
Eventually, these people will fill the hole left by whoever upsets you. During this process, if you notice any negative friends, like people who complain or want to keep talking about your past relationship, you need to cut ties with them.
This is never easy, especially now with what you are going through, but you cannot afford to have this negative energy in your life.
Related: Here is how to make new friends
#15. Be Patient
Many times people make the mistake of not letting their hearts heal completely. They jump right into another relationship, called a rebound relationship. In the moment, it feels good. You are loved and in love and are making good memories. Plus, you don’t have to deal with the hurt.
But most of these relationships fail because your heart isn’t entirely in it. Instead, be patient when it comes to a new relationship. Give yourself time to get over the person and fully move on before committing to someone new.