15 Surprising Triggers Fueling Resentment You Never Knew About

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to hold onto grudges for days, weeks, months, or even years? 

Resentment is a powerful emotion that can ruin relationships and lead to all kinds of destructive behavior. 

It’s not always easy to understand why someone might be feeling resentful, and it can be hard to identify the underlying triggers behind it. 

Today, we’re diving into 15 surprising triggers fueling resentment that you may never have known about before! 

After reading through this list, you’ll start recognizing the patterns and warning signs associated with resentment so that you can act quickly, if necessary, and avoid bigger issues down the road.

#1. Living in Today’s Economy

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No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, you’ve likely noticed that living costs have become unmanageable. 

Rent is expensive; homes are expensive; high-paying jobs are few and far between; college can plunge you into a lifetime of debt, and so on.

Naturally, this has left a lot of people bitter. Some people have stated that they’re exhausted from grinding, knowing that all systems are stacked against them. 

For them, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel and no reason to continue trying so hard to survive.

#2. Being Disabled

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Having a disability can make the difficulty of life even more challenging. 

Those with a disability aren’t always looking at the brighter side of things. 

Some are naturally angry that they have something working against them in their bodies. Even worse, some describe how they already had a disability and ended up with another one due to complications caused by the first. 

Given that life can be challenging with a disability and that the systems that exist to support disabled people are known to be poorly constructed, it’s no wonder why those with a disability are bitter at the world. 

#3. Lack of Appreciation

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One of the quickest ways to become resentful is to not be appreciated for the things you do.

Most people aren’t looking for an award here, but to simply be recognized for the effort and time they spend doing things.

#4. Being Cheated on

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This could tie into the previous mention. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world, and it can create many problems even if the relationship has ended. 

Those who have been cheated on may feel like they’re unable to trust others, like they were responsible for their partner’s cheating, and that they’ve thrown away their life spending all that time with someone sneaking behind their back. 

While there may be a lot of feelings that people experience during this period, bitterness is certainly one that may arise.

#5. Expectations Versus Reality

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We absorb a lot when we’re young. Often, we are told to dream and believe that we can achieve anything. 

We may even set specific goals for ourselves that we aim to realize as we grow up. 

But the more some of us navigate life, the more we realize that life doesn’t always go as expected. 

For those with lives that go in the opposite direction of what they expected, it can leave them feeling extremely bitter.

#6. Not Being Paid What They’re Worth

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There are many professionals out there who are not being paid what they deserve. 

Several people shared how their employers paid them a meager salary in return for their hard work. 

Even more insulting, many discovered that new employees were making substantially more than them. 

Fortunately, others had good advice, like looking for multiple new jobs while working to find one that does pay fairly. 

#7. Having to Deal With Trauma Caused by Others

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Childhood trauma has long-lasting consequences. 

It can affect development, socializing, and the behavioral and thinking patterns one relies on to navigate daily life. 

Unfortunately, childhood trauma is something that’s not that easy to get over. 

Those traumatized by their families or those close to them at a young age are bitter that they’re left without the foundation they need to succeed in daily life. 

They’re also bitter that they have to spend thousands of dollars fixing something they didn’t want or ask for. 

Some people have parents willing to foot the bill and admit their mistakes, but far more do not and have to navigate maturing and healing by themselves. 

#8. Losing a Loved One

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Losing a loved one is a tragic development. It also naturally causes bitterness, especially if their life was ripped away too soon. 

Whether it’s spouses, children, or even beloved pets, many feel bitter and lost after a loss, knowing that they no longer get to have time with their loved one that they once thought they had. 

Grief does fade, but it seems to have a lasting impact on a person. 

#9. Not Being Good Enough for Others

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In life, all we can do is our very best. Sometimes, this produces OK results. 

Other times, it may work out exactly as we planned. Still, you can’t satisfy everyone. 

There are people out there with friends, family members, and romantic partners who aren’t satisfied no matter what they achieve. 

They could not care what others think, but that’s often much easier said than done. 

Instead, they feel emotionally drained and have low self-esteem from trying to consistently live up to expectations constantly shifting around, no matter what heights they reach.

#10. Losing Contact With People Who Don’t Put in the Effort

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There is a saying that there are friends for a reason, for a season, and for a lifetime. 

However, not everyone may fit neatly into a specific category. 

Some people mentioned how they have friends who only connect with them if they initiate contact. 

This can leave them feeling bitter if they feel that they have to reach out to everyone to maintain some semblance of a relationship when the other person won’t reciprocate. 

Some accept that reality, but some move on and have difficulty forming new friendships for the same reasons.

#11. Watching Terrible Things Happen to Good People

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The world isn’t fair, and this is a hard lesson to learn. 

Sometimes, people aren’t bitter about things that happened to them. 

Instead, they’re bitter because terrible things happen to good people while terrible people get off scot-free. 

From getting cancer early to losing everything, bitterness accompanies a situation where someone amazing gets treated as though they’re not.

#12. The General Public

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There’s a common sentiment that people have become ruder over time. 

People don’t have filters and say whatever they want to out in public. 

Even if it seems like common sense to be kind, that doesn’t mean everyone will have the understanding to be kind to others. 

Some may even hold outright nasty beliefs about certain groups of people that cause them to be a certain way. 

These types of interactions can leave some feeling bitter about people in general, the state of the world, and life as a whole. 

#13. Working in Healthcare

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People with insurance and without it can list many things wrong with the healthcare system in the U.S. 

But it turns out that workers are bitter too. 

From crushing student loans that need repaying to long hours that leave people burnt out to become so tired that they can’t even stand to see patients, there’s a lot wrong with working in this field. 

Many nurses and doctors wish to leave but can’t afford to.

#14. Apologizing When You Do Nothing Wrong

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It’s easy to become resentful when we feel like we’ve done something wrong and aren’t given the opportunity to explain ourselves.

Apologizing for something you didn’t do can lead to a feeling of injustice, which can quickly spiral into feelings of deep resentment.

The best way to tackle this is by standing your ground firmly and calmly asserting yourself without being aggressive.

Once you’ve said your piece, take a few moments to assess the situation objectively and determine whether or not an apology is necessary. 

If it is called for, make sure it’s sincere and heartfelt, this helps create an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding which will help reduce any potential resentment between parties.

#15. Feeling Obligated To Help

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Sometimes we can feel as though others expect us to help out with a task, even when we don’t have the capacity or time to do it.

This creates feelings of pressure and guilt which can be difficult to handle.

The best way to address this is by communicating your boundaries clearly and respectfully from the start.

Let the other person know that you appreciate their offer of help but that you don’t have the time or resources to take it on right now.

This will allow them to look for other solutions without feeling resentment towards you.

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