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Actions speak louder than words. Do they? Sometimes words can be incredibly powerful. Words of first love, that tenderly begin relationships. Words of hatred, that break them apart. Words mothers and fathers sing while cradling their children, words that will be passed down to future generations. Words whisper, sing and roar.
They break up and they make up. And yet, there is still some honest truth in that old saying. Because sometimes, words are lazy. I’ll admit, I let words do my work for me sometimes. Sometimes, saying “sorry” or “I love you” can be very hard to do, but often, we use these words to make up for or replace our actions.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I recently recognized this in myself after watching my daughter do it. She had whacked her brother, and seeing me notice, quickly grabbed him and said “Sorry!” before I could react. I began explaining to her why saying a quick sorry didn’t make it ok; how could she show him she was sorry instead? Sit with him until he felt better? Share a favorite toy?
“That was easy for you to say,” I told her, and realized that I am guilty of this kind of cop-out every day. How could I use actions instead of words in positive ways? Surely telling my children I love them is a good thing, and not something I’m going to cut back on, but showing them I love them takes more effort.
Giving my daughter my full attention while she tells me a story, or playing chase with my son when I’d rather just be sitting down – these are ways I can make them feel loved and appreciated without saying a word.
Learning And Growing
My husband and I say “I love you” to one another at the end of most phone conversations, but packing his lunch for him or letting him sleep in on a Saturday actually demonstrates this love. I am working on this regarding apologies as well. Instead of just an “I’m sorry”, I am trying to be mindful of what I did in the first place that I need to be sorry for, to work harder at not letting it happen again.
I love words (reading, writing, singing, crosswords…) and fully believe in the power they have, but I also feel that showing instead of just telling can make a huge difference in the way we treat others and the relationships we have.
Start simple. How can you show someone you care about that they are loved? How can you let someone know you have listened to them, without the words “I hear you!”? A few times a week, maybe once a day, catch yourself before you speak and show someone how you feel instead – with a hug, a helping hand, or a listening ear.
The words “Thank you”, “I’m sorry” and “I love you” are always nice to hear, but the effort it takes to make someone feel that you truly mean what you are saying speaks louder than the words themselves.
Jon Dulin is the passionate leader of Unfinished Success, a personal development website that inspires people to take control of their own lives and reach their full potential. His commitment to helping others achieve greatness shines through in everything he does. He’s an unstoppable force with lots of wisdom, creativity, and enthusiasm – all focused on helping others build a better future. Jon enjoys writing articles about productivity, goal setting, self-development, and mindset. He also uses quotes and affirmations to help motivate and inspire himself. You can learn more about him on his About page.
It’s nice to hear “I love you” from my girlfriend, but I much prefer for her to do things that show her love, rather than simply saying it five times an hour. It’s a powerful phrase at the beginning of a relationship, but overtime the words lose their power. That’s when showing love with action becomes a lot more important than just saying it.
It’s funny how that works. For many people, in the beginning of a relationship, it is hard to even say those 3 words. But after a while in a relationship, it becomes almost too easy.
Definitely agree! Saying “I love you” to my girlfriend is fine but I prefer to look for small things I can do to demonstrate my love to her.
That’s great Ed! It’s easy just to say ‘I love you’ after a while and have it lose some of it’s meaning. By doing little things, you show her that it really hasn’t lost it’s meaning.
My wife and I make a point to to little things for each other as well – leave notes, buy flowers or cards, etc. They are simple, but mean a lot to us both.
Its always great to tell someone you love them or have someone saying it to you, at time just a small act that shows your love can a lo further.