Perfectionism is a hurdle at the best of times, but in addiction recovery, nothing will set you back like setting sky-high expectations for yourself.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t commit to long-term sobriety, far from it.
It does, however, mean you should consider shifting the focus from “tomorrow I won’t be tempted in any way” to “tomorrow I will edge one step closer to becoming the person I want to be”.
Small wins evolve into big wins.
As cliché as it may sound, taking it one day at a time is the best way to make lasting change.
Still not convinced? Let’s talk the power of small wins, and why celebrating progress over perfection is the key to addiction recovery.
The Psychology of Small Wins
We live in a world that chases significant success and rewards huge milestones, enough to cause us to lose sight of the power of small wins.
Yet, a workplace study found that 28% of small wins had a major impact on inner work life, including boosting passion and creativity (1).
When we experience a small win, the brain’s reward system is triggered, which releases dopamine and leads to greater resilience.
In the context of addiction, this can represent a fresh wave of motivation, helping those in recovery to remember why they first got sober, and stick to their goals.
One reason to dwell on those small wins is that they encourage empowerment.
Rather than waiting around for big wins, which may be few and far between, praising yourself for small moments keeps your self-esteem high and your motivation at its peak, both of which are crucial for preventing relapse.
Examples of Small Wins
What constitutes a small win vs a big win is different for everyone.
Generally, small wins are the little changes we make in everyday life, that may not seem significant on the day, but contribute to a serious improvement over time.
1. Staying sober for one more day
One day of sobriety may seem trivial to some, but lifelong sobriety is made up of these one-day wins.
If you can get through one day without alcohol, you can get through two days without alcohol, and so on.
Such a small win can evolve into a life transformation.
2. Reaching out to a friend for support
Just one phone call to a friend may not feel productive on the day, but the more you rely on your support network, the easier it will become to make good decisions in terms of your sobriety.
And if you can’t get in touch with your support network, use alcohol affirmations to reframe your thinking.
3. Applying to one more job
Unemployment is something that affects many people in recovery.
Whilst a big win, such as landing a new job, often takes the spotlight, the simple act of applying to another job isn’t something that should be ignored.
It’s these small everyday actions that build into healthy habits, and help you achieve your life goals.
Breaking Free From the Perfection Trap
Perfectionism feels like a comforting mindset for many people in recovery.
If it’s possible to do everything perfectly, you can focus all your efforts on smashing your goals, and distract yourself from the scary reality that failure is inevitable.
The idea that failure is a part of life may sound disheartening, but the sooner you embrace this, the better you can prepare yourself for recovery challenges and ensure you are in a strong position to tackle temptation.
Instead of feeling shame and discouragement due to perfectionism, you can practice self-compassion, understanding that you will make mistakes, but that there is always an opportunity to bounce back.
So, what does breaking free from the perfection trap look like for people in recovery? Let’s use a common perfectionist thought to explore this:
“I need to be able to stay sober alone, if I get help it means I’ve failed”
Can you see how this could induce feelings of guilt and shame?
Getting help is an important part of recovery, and seeking help is a sign someone is proactive, self-aware, and committed to their sobriety.
By accepting this in favor of a perfectionist mindset, you are prioritizing progress over perfection, which is the recipe for success in many ways.
How Small Wins Fit Into Addiction Rehab
When you think of alcohol rehab, you may think of the big wins first: undergoing an home-based alcohol detox, completing a therapy program, or leaving rehab with your newfound sobriety.
These are all huge steps in recovery, but they do not undermine the sheer volume of small wins that are around every corner at rehab:
- Eating three meals a day
- Opening up in a group therapy session
- Meditating for the first time
Each time you adopt a new healthy behavior, you are one step closer to living a sober lifestyle that revolves around self-care, strength, and resilience.
Attending your first therapy session doesn’t only impact your well-being at rehab, but also your life beyond, as you learn the value of long-term therapy, boost your communication skills, and improve your emotional regulation.
Let’s normalize celebrating these small wins for what they are: symbols of the strength, power, and resilience you have built throughout your addiction recovery.
How to Celebrate Small Wins: Practical Tips
Most of us can’t reasonably throw a party every time we conquer something new, so how can we practically fit small wins into our busy lives?
1. Keep a sobriety calendar
Sobriety calendars are one of the most popular tools used for celebrating recovery.
They’re often seen on social media as people proudly mark each year of sobriety, but why not celebrate the small milestones of a sobriety calendar?
Whether it’s one day, one week or one month, you deserve to take a moment to appreciate your sobriety and pat yourself on the back for staying strong in your recovery.
2. Daily self-care
We’re all told the importance of self-care, but without implementing it on a practical level, it’s easy to neglect this part of our lives.
Each week, take the time to incorporate at least one self-care activity into your daily to-do list, in the same way that you would with a chore or an errand.
It doesn’t have to be a high-maintenance, time-consuming task; it could simply be taking a walk in nature, listening to your favorite playlist, or calling a friend.
3. Gratitude journal
It’s tough to stay grateful when so many of your thoughts are taken up by recovery, but gratitude holds so much power in reminding you what you’re staying sober for.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) has even adopted gratitude journaling into its program due to its efficacy in addiction recovery (2).
The more you dwell on these points of gratitude, the clearer your progress will be.
For example, feeling grateful for your health may remind you what your addiction did to your health previously, and encourage you to take a moment to appreciate what your body can now do.
Final Thoughts
Recovery does not hinge on perfection. In fact, striving for perfection will only be detrimental to your recovery.
Instead of chasing a flawless sobriety experience, try pursuing progress.
Acknowledge every step in the right direction and you will find yourself appreciating just how much you are capable of, rather than dwelling on what you struggle with.
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Jon Dulin is the passionate leader of Unfinished Success, a personal development website that inspires people to take control of their own lives and reach their full potential. His commitment to helping others achieve greatness shines through in everything he does. He’s an unstoppable force with lots of wisdom, creativity, and enthusiasm – all focused on helping others build a better future. Jon enjoys writing articles about productivity, goal setting, self-development, and mindset. He also uses quotes and affirmations to help motivate and inspire himself. You can learn more about him on his About page.