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No one goes into a marriage expecting it to end in failure and heartache, but sadly for many couples, marital bliss isn’t always meant to last.
Divorce rates are through the roof, with nearly 50% of marriages ending in separation.
So how can you tell if a marriage is on the brink? The key is to pay attention to warning signs.
On a popular online forum, the question was asked, “what signs during the wedding told you the marriage would not last.” Here are the many replies of the red flags people witnessed.
#1. Replacement Groom
A wedding photographer shared a great story about a couple who came in to hire him, only to find out the wedding is canceled and then back on.
But that wasn’t the red flag. It was that the groom was a different person in the second go-round.
“I sat down with bride and groom, filling out the contract. Got the deposit. He stood up, said forget it, and walked out. Two months later I get told the wedding is off. Three months later she calls to rebook, different groom. Day of the wedding I am at the church. I got the final payment the week before, but no one shows. No one. It was just me and the DJ.”
#2. Bad Speeches At The Reception
Everyone looks forward to the best man and maid of honor speeches at the reception. They typically include stories of the bride and groom most people wouldn’t know and have some humor to keep things light.
Overall, they are messages of love. But not always.
Sometimes, you get cringe-worthy stories, where you wonder what the person was thinking about telling that story. This is what happened at one wedding.
“The best man’s speech was all about how hard it was to be married. ‘I’ve been married for a year and it feels like 100 years.’ Maid of honor stands up to give a speech and just says ‘Ditto.’ It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.”
#3. Last Minute Regrets
We all know the butterflies before the wedding, where you question if this is the right thing to do. In most cases, it is nervousness.
But other times, it’s your body telling you to run.
“The bride told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn’t like him. Then she sobbed the entire morning, day-of. She ended up not getting any makeup done because she wouldn’t stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding for 35 minutes.
She almost didn’t say ‘I do.’ They managed to get a, ‘uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do’ out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say it.”
#4. No Wedding Vows To Husband
A popular trend people like is to prepare their own vows to make the moment even more special. Usually, the worst thing about this part of a wedding is that the bride or groom doesn’t hold the microphone close enough, and you can barely hear what they say.
However, in one person’s experience, they did hear what the bride said, and it would have been better if she couldn’t be heard.
“The bride had 45 minutes of ‘vows’ that she had prepared. Nine pages of things like inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them her husband. When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part and she said ‘for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.'”
#5. Drunk Bride
Sometimes, we indulge too much at a wedding and get intoxicated. But it usually isn’t the bride, and it’s not before the wedding even takes place. In this story, the bride could not even say her lines.
“She was belligerently drunk before the ceremony even started and couldn’t even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. “I promise to love you”). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her.”
#6. Bridezilla
We are all familiar with the term Bridezilla, where a woman becomes obsessed with her wedding and needs it to be her way and perfect.
A worker at a bridal shop witnessed a Bridezilla close-up and was stunned by what they saw.
“Not at the wedding itself, but I used to work at a David’s Bridal. Bride came in with tons of friends, we did the ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ thing, and an hour later she’d standing there in $3,000 worth of stuff and doesn’t have any money with her or in her account. She decides she wants to apply for the store credit card, I run it through the system, and she gets denied. She then calls the groom for his info (which, to be fair, people did all the time), and he tells her no. She threw a huge fit on the phone with him, standing on the bridal stage, literally demanding ‘Why not? Why?! Why!!’ like an actual child over and over again.
She hangs up on him and her friend is like ‘I’m so sorry you can’t get your dress’ and the bride stops crying instantly and just goes, ‘Oh I’ll get the dress. I just have to do this at home and when he gets mad enough he’ll come get it for me so I’ll stop.’ I was speechless. Sure enough, the girl came back two days later with her man and he applied for the credit card and bought the dress.”
#7. Bad Mother In Law
Mother-in-laws can be hit or miss. In some cases, they get too involved in the wedding and cause stress. That is what happened in this case.
“The bride’s mother is a big DIY person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc. Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.
Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my mother in law (groom’s mom) an email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought, which was $7,000 worth, and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy.”
#8. Drama From Drama Students
Many people warn young adults to wait to get married. It seems this advice missed these college kids. The good news is that it’s a great story.
“The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid-of-honor’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.’
The best man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe…like the previous time you called me.’ Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ thing.”
#9. The Last First Dance
First dances are a tradition at weddings, even though they can be odd. Everyone stands around watching the new couple dance to a song they enjoy. Nine times out of ten, it’s a perfectly normal thing.
But then there’s that one time when you question the future of the marriage.
“The bride had a fun lighthearted dance with the groom followed by a close and slow dance with her male best friend. It’s 18 months later and now she’s living with the ‘friend’.”
#10. Game Over
In the early 2000s, a t-shirt made the rounds of a stick figure man and woman getting married with the caption, ‘Game Over.’ While many people have seen these shirts for sale, most people have never seen a person wearing one.
While wearing one in public might not be a red flag, it is when you wear it to your reception.
“The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned ‘Game Over’.”
#11. Bad Bride Behavior
Once again, booze rears its ugly head and impacts a wedding. In this case, the bride did some questionable things you wouldn’t expect to see at a wedding reception.
“The bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.”
#12. Wedding Cake Slap
Another tradition is cutting the cake and then feeding it to your partner. This situation is often lighthearted as the bride and groom playfully feed one another.
But in one instance, it escalated quickly to a point no one saw coming.
“The bride tried to playfully feed the groom some cake, pulling it back once it got close to his mouth. The third time she did this, he slapped it out of her hand and stormed off.”
#13. Interrupting Phone Call
A major annoyance for people is the interruption of a cell phone ringing at a critical moment. Many people have the class to silence or turn off their phone at a wedding, a funeral, a presentation, etc.
But some people miss the common courtesy memo and leave their phone on. This happened at a wedding, but it wasn’t a person in the crowd. It was the groom.
“I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony, in the middle of exchanging vows. It was the grooms. He took the call.”
#14. Unfunny Vows
Here is another instance of wedding vows gone wrong. There is nothing worse than speaking from the heart and having the other person be rude.
“Two friends of mine got married, and when they gave their vows, the guy started laughing at the part about being faithful. Oops.”
#15. Betting Against The Marriage
We all know people getting married, and while we don’t say it publicly, we question if getting married is their best choice. It could be because of the other person or where they are in life. When it’s not just you that wonders, but the entire bridal party, it’s a major red flag.
“The entire bridal party, including parents of the wedded couple, entering in to a betting pool of how long the marriage would last at the wedding reception.”
#16. Best Woman
We all have gut instincts that tell us something isn’t quite right. Regarding this story, I wonder if the bride ever had that feeling.
“The groom had a ‘best woman’ instead of a best man. Nothing wrong with that, but her toast left the whole room in awkward silence because she was clearly in love with him. It was all about how they were always together, all the late nights they spent together, etc. She was so tearful during it too. I’m not making it sound as bad as it was, but I assure you, it was bad.”
#17. Groomsmen Fighting
A wedding is supposed to be a time of happiness and love, so how does a fight break out? I’ve heard stories of fights before, but nothing like this story.
“I was at a Portuguese wedding where a fist fight broke out at the head table during the reception between two groomsmen. They were arguing about which of them had slept with the bride first. The groom was oblivious.”
#18. Repeat Offender
There’s an old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Someone needs to remind the groom about this.
“His third wedding. Same venue and same after ceremony driving away vehicle as the first two.”
#19. The Grooms Moment
Many times, the ego of a person comes out at the worst time. In this case, it happened at a wedding, where the true colors of the groom were flashing like a beacon in the night.
“The wedding was all about the groom promoting his band. He even ‘sang his bride a song’ that was literally just him showing off his vocal range with some classic piece. She stood up and joined him on stage half way through and he looked annoyed that he had to share the limelight.”
#20. A Third Wheel
While it is great to have friends of the opposite sex, you really have to question the relationship when everyone’s talking about how it’s not platonic and the couple involved is not hiding it.
“The bride had been having an affair and everyone knew it. The groom’s friends tried to tell him, but she convinced him they were making it up. I mean, at that point it was just sad. She actually had the guts to force her fiancé to apologize to the guy she was sleeping with for the accusations.
The night of the bachelorette party she took all her bridesmaids back to the other guy’s house and spent the night with him. He came to their wedding. It was so awkward. Everyone knew and everyone was talking.
The groom was told, but chose to overlook it. After the wedding she insisted the other guy come on vacations with her and her husband and included him in all their social functions.”
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